Caesar, I Was Once Your Bosom Pal

Tune: Richard Rodgers's "You Took Advantage of Me"

Caesar, I was once your bosom pal,
Up until the Feast of Lupercal.
You saw the crown
And turned it down,
So you look ambitious to me.

Come the Ides of March, I'll run you through;
It'll do no good to cry, "Et tu?"
My righteous stabs
Will pierce your abs,
'Cause you look ambitious to me.

Rome was a republic until today,
Which rather gets my goat.
A quick assassination's the only way
To save our right to vote.

Murmur "au revoir" but not "good-bye";
I've a hunch we'll meet at Philippi,
So what the heck?
I'll cash your check,
'Cause you look ambitious to me.