A Twerp Who Decides You're a "Perp"

Tune: Arthur Schwartz's "That's Entertainment!"

A twerp
Who decides you're a "perp"
Tells a pest
To effect your arrest,
So the toughs
Do their stuff with the cuffs:
That's Pre-Arraignment.

You wince,
While they're taking your prints;
You grimace,
While they're snapping your face;
But you lurch
During "cavity search":
That's Pre-Arraignment.

Your room's
In the Tombs,
Not the Plaza Hotel.
Your drink
In the clink
Isn't even Korbel™.
Your life is virtual hell.
(Still, there's one thing that's lucky—
It's better than in Kentucky.)

It bites,
When they're reading your rights,
And it sucks,
When you think of the bucks,
'Cause it blows
That your assets are froze!

The time that you'll do
You'll do at the time
Of Pre-Arraignment!