Every Gum-Chewing Lout

Tune: Frederick Loewe's "It's Almost Like Being in Love"

Every gum-chewing lout
Thinks I'm just hiding out;
Why, it's—almost like being alive.

Though I'm laid to my rest
With a stone on my chest,
Why, it's—almost like being alive.

Any fool with a brain in his head
Ought to know now that Elvis is dead.

Death notwithstanding, I'm pissed
That the morons persist
In the hare-brained illusion
That I'm "just in seclusion"—
It's almost like being alive.