You Must By Now Be Wise

Tune: Herman Hupfeld's "As Time Goes By"

You must by now be wise:
The things you truly prize
Are things you're sure to botch;
Then someone goes and steals your watch,
As time goes blotch.

You wind up on the rack,
But do they cut you slack?
They turn it up a notch.
At any rate, that's how it feels,
As time goes blotch.

Moonshine and bushwa
Never go away;
Sunshine and blue skies
Turn to muddy grey;
You defy Fate,
And Fate says, "If I may—"
Then kicks you in the crotch.

There's only one solution,
Besides electrocution:
A case of Dewar's Scotch.
The world will always screw you over,
As time goes blotch.