Don't Walk Into an Applebee's™

Tune: Sam H. Stept's "Don't Sit Under the Apple Tree"

Don't walk into an Applebee's,™
If anyone else might see.
Any place else? Oui, oui!
Applebee's™—No siree!
No, no, no!
Don't go into an Applebee's;™
It isn't "QOCD,"—
Why, what would Snooki say?

Don't be seen in that Neighborhood;
It isn't the place to be—
Anything but chichi—
Hardly our cup of tea.
No, no, no!
If you're caught in a neighborhood
Despised by the bourgeoisie,
Why, what would Snooki say?

The upper crust
Couldn't put its trust
In a place with no chablis;
Where the fingerbowls
And crusty rolls
Are decidedly C-3.
So—

Don't walk into an Applebee's,™
Not even if it's for free—
Why, what would Snooki say?