We're the Governor's Staff

Tune: Irving Berlin's "A Couple of Swells"

We're the Governor's [or Senator's, or Congressman's] staff—
Each time he commits a gaffe,
We're on the job to obfuscate,
Before anyone can laugh.

We're the Governor's team—
The work is an ad man's dream.
We're paid big bucks to make skim milk
Appear to be whipping cream.

The press demands, "So will he run for Prez?"
We asked him that, and this is what he says:

"Well, I might run for President,
But I'd have to give it thought.
True, I might run for President,
But I don't know if I ought.
Still, I might run for President—
But today I've got the flu,
So I can't run for President,
No, I shan't run for President,
And I won't run for President
(Till I do)."

How are we at P.R.?
The best in the biz, by far!
When Peewee Herman came to us,
We made him a movie star.

What the Governor speaks
Is planned in advance for weeks.
(We play the syntax down, so it
Appeals to the common geeks.)

So will he make a bid against the field?
He may—provided all the bids are sealed.

Now, he might run for President,
But the time just isn't ripe.
Yes, he might run for President,
But he needs a bit more hype.
Still, he might run for President—
But you'll keep 'em all abuzz
If you don't run for President,
So he won't run for President,
No, he shan't run for President
(Till he does).

[Coda:]

Though he could run for President,
If he would run for President,
And he should run for President,
"Just becuz";
Yet he won't run for President
(Till he does).