There's a Wrong Way to Tip a Waiter

Tune: Jack Judge's "It's a Long, Long Way to Tipperary"

There's a wrong way
To tip a waiter,
And a right way,
I'm told;
And the right way
To tip a waiter
Is to cross his
Palm with gold.
Good guys
Give him C-notes;
Cheapskates,
Just a dime.
When the bon ton
Pay to tip a waiter,
It's payday—
Big time!