Then That Walking Oxymoron Who's Infesting Academe

Tune: Arthur Sullivan's "I've Got a Little List," from "The Mikado"

Then that walking oxymoron who's infesting academe,
The creation scientist—I've got him on the list.
Excrescences who stand outside an embassy and scream;
They never would be missed—they never would be missed.
And those hungry politicians who are always eating crow,
Such as "Monkey Business"—"Hymie Town"—and "Plagiarizin' Joe"—
"I Don't Recall"—"I Once Smoked Pot"—and "I Am Not a Wimp"—
Republican or Democrat, it's clear you needn't skimp.
I warrant you'll discover someone worthy of the list;
They'd none of 'em be missed—they'd none of 'em be missed.
Yes, we really must insist
That you put 'em on the list,
For, in case you missed the gist,
They'd none of 'em be missed.