You Make Me Egg Foo Yong

Tune: Josef Myrow's "You Make Me Feel So Young"

You make me egg foo yong;
You make me ham and pickled tongue;
But, every time, I feel chagrin
To find that it is in-
Digestible.

The moment that you cook,
I feel the need to read a book.
It would be bliss to disappear
Until (let's say) next year.

You make pie
That tastes like a motorman's glove;
Cookies that taste like bird-doo
(Poop à la dove
Is a dish I love—
Like hell!)

You make me egg foo yong—
In my opinion, you ought to be hung;
For it's among
The most sickening hash ever slung!
And even if I starve to death,
I'm gonna murmur with my final breath:
Don't make me egg foo—
Please, dear, I beg you—
Don't make me egg foo yong!