When Al Qaeda Bombs the Pentagon

Tune: Harry Warren's "On the Atchison, Topeka and the Santa Fe"

When Al Qaeda bombs the Pentagon,
Celebrities will organize a telethon—
But September 12th, they'll be on their way
Back to Aspen and Tahiti—and to St. Tropez.

When the market outlook's none too good,
There's cheery camaraderie in Hollywood,
Just as long as things will be A-OK
Back in Aspen and Tahiti—and in St. Tropez.

Holy crumbs!
When the movie crew laments, "Boo-hoo"—
Hey, Jim! You bet the game is rigged.
Cock-a-doodle-doo! I never knew.
So stars are good at showing off—
Well, I'll be jigged!

When Katrina wipes out New Orleans,
The movie stars'll rally 'round with pork-and-beans;
But they hoard foie gras and crème brûlée
Back in Aspen and Tahiti—
Far away from all graffiti—
Back in Aspen and Tahiti—and in St. Tropez.