Back When Consumers

Tune: Irving Berlin's "Dear Old Crinoline Days"

Back when consumers,
Hippies and Boomers
Felt an acute malaise;
When Howard Cosell croaked praise
For Cassius Clay's
Pugilistic forays:
That was the era
No one could cheer; a
Time that, to coin a phrase,
Stirs no nostalgia—
More like neuralgia:
Those were the Double-Knit Days.

In those threadbare Double-Knit Days,
Who knew that Disco would be only a phase?
John Travolta (in the cupboard)
Hadn't sold his soul to L. Ron Hubbard.
Back in nineteen-seventy-four,
Very few 'foxes' were tattooed like a whore!
Dimly, we peer through the cannabis haze
Back to those Double-Knit Days.