Evans - My Man Evans

Tune: Irving Berlin's "Cheek to Cheek"
(A Critique of Robert Evans's "The Kid Stays in the Picture")

Evans—
My man Evans—
I have seen your little auto-exposé,
And you're just as self-absorbed as people say:
You regurgitate your story play-by-play.

Evans—
My man Evans—
Are there any words that suitably convey
The fatuity these images portray?
You regurgitate your story play-by-play.

I would rather sit through sermons
Till my hair has turned to grey,
Than to have to sit and listen to
Your endless play-by-play.

I would rather sit and suffer
With the souls on Judgment Day,
Than to have to sit and listen to
Your endless play-by-play.

Bozhe moi!
I'd gladly sup any hype
But tuppenny hype
Like Evans's tripe;
So—)

Evans—
My man Evans—
I would recommend your little resumé—
As the portrait of a pompous popinjay.
You regurgitate your story play-by-play.