It Seemed Like a Pity

Tune: Lewis F. Muir's "Waitin' for the Robert E. Lee"

It seemed like a pity
To dip in the kitty,
But Sex and the City
Was raunchy and witty;
So I broke down,
Rang up my cable guy—
Made a decision
To pay for my television:

"When can you get here
To hook up my set here?
I'm startin' to fret here—
Break into a sweat here,
'Cause I won't wait
One minute more to see
The glories of cable TV."

That was April the 1st—
Tuesday, April the 1st.
Then came the 3rd,
4th,
5th,
6th.
He promised the 7th,
And then the 11th.

It's the 24th of July—
Still no sign of the guy.
How I berate
Fate,
Waitin' like a moron,
Waitin' for my cable TV.

At last he was able
To hook up my cable.
(I now have a gable
That's slightly unstable;
But with broadband,
Why should it worry me?
Home renovation
Is always in syndication.)

Clickin' my clicker—
The images flicker—
But here is the kicker:
I'm suddenly sicker
Than a drowned rat
Caught in a torrent of
Commercials on cable TV.

Crikey! Look at those ads!
What's with all of those ads?
They're pushin' soap,
Trucks,
Scope,
Lux;
The cellular 'phone ads
Are bustin' my gonads.

Couldn't someone tell me who knows:
Where in hell are my shows?!
It's such a sick
Shtick,
Clickin' till I'm frickin'
Sick 'n' tired of cable TV.

So here is a breakdown:
The guy was a crook;
He gave me the shakedown,
And, boy! was I shook.
I'm fixin' to take down
And read a good book
And disable
This cable
TV.