In Classy Scranton

Tune: Jack Yellen's, Milton Ager's, Bob Bigelow's and Charles Bates's "Hard-Hearted Hannah"

In classy Scranton,
In ritzy Scranton,
The city "moaned" is nice and "hote":
The social scene is fraught with snares,
'Cause all the locals put on airs.
They've got a lion,
A social lion,
Whose clan arrived on some old boat;
Points his name out in Debrett's
Every God-damned chance that he gets.
They call him—

Blue-blooded Blanton,
The kingpin of Scranton,
The biggest snob in town;
Peacocks are proud, but Blanton's even prouder—
"Vishy-swahs" is what he calls leek chowder.
To cut 'em and snub 'em,
To out-country-club 'em
Is what he does all day.
He threw a little "swar-ee" just the other "swar"
And invited the "ay-leet"—but not the D.A.R.
He's blue-blooded Blanton,
The kingpin of Scranton,
P-A.

Blue-blooded Blanton,
The kingpin of Scranton,
The biggest snob in town;
Never catches cold—he wouldn't let a germ in;
Common colds are for the unwashed vermin.
To cut 'em and snub 'em,
To out-country-club 'em
Is what he does all day.
He doesn't wear a suit, he wears a "toot on-somb";
He can use a fingerbowl, and with complete aplomb;
He's blue-blooded Blanton,
The kingpin of Scranton,
P-A.
("Excuse my dust.")