We Must Protect the Kiddies

Tune: McCarthy's "Bonnie Blue Flag"

We must protect the kiddies—
The tender little tots—
Sanitizing violence
In cinematic plots;
But should they turn a classic
To mushy Mallomar™,
Then that is when the Thought Police
Will go a bit too far.

Too far, too far,
The prigs 'll go too far:
A re-make of Bonnie and Clyde
Without a single scar!

I don't know how they did it,
But somehow it was done:
Bonnie Parker buys it, but—
We never see a gun.
The final burst of bullets
Is hidden by the car;
But when the picture fades to pink,
They go too bloody far!

Too far, too far, &c.

Farewell to Warren Beatty!
Farewell to Arthur Penn!
Censorship has done away
With freedom-loving men.
The Fewest and the Proudest
Are killed in Kandahar
To make the World a Safer Place
For prigs who go too far.

Too far, too far, &c.