The Stones

Tune: Schwartz's "That's Entertainment!"

The Stones
Speak in moderate tones;
In the Doors,
Hardly anyone roars;
Every band
Is incredibly bland:
That's understatement.

The bass
Is so not-in-your-face,
And the drums
Make inaudible hums;
Someone croons
Pianissimo tunes:
That's understatement.

Now, Mick
May be quick,
But he's never impure;
The things
That he sings
Are discreetly demure;
And one thing's certain-for-sure:
Not a hand's creeping crotch-ward,
'Cause subtlety is his watchword.

The Strokes
Are conservative folks,
And the Clash
Won't do anything rash;
R.E.M.
Is a delicate gem—
A gem is a rock,
And Rock is a gem
Of understatement.