Rosencrantz

Tune: Benny Davis's and Harry Akst's "Baby Face"

Rosencrantz—
Is that guy Guildenstern or Rosencrantz?
I wish they'd cool it with the song-and-dance—
Take a stance!
Choosing-
'S tru-
Ly random—
The thing
To do
Is brand 'em.
At a glance,
I'd say it's easier to dope out high finance,
Than ever hope to learn
If that was Guildenstern—
Or was that one Rosencrantz?

Guildenstern—
I'm never certain if it's Guildenstern;
I look for Rosencrantz but, when I turn—
Guildenstern!!
Some skill
Is-
N't gelling—
I'm still
A whiz
At telling
Bert from Ern',
And differentiating Shirley from Laverne;
But I don't stand a chance
With freakin' Rosencrantz,
Or that gol-durned Guildenstern!