Nothin' Causes Coma

Tune: Walter Donaldson's "Carolina in the Morning"

Nothin' causes coma
Like the song in Oklahoma!
'Bout the "Mornin'."

No refrain or medley
Is so deadeningly deadly
'Bout the mornin'.

"Ev'rything was goin'"
(Up to now) "my way"—
Why is my heartbeat slowin'?
Why am I D.O.A.?

True, I'm merely surly
When I'm viewin' Curly, early
In the mornin';

But if I were quotable,
I'd give a certain notable
A warnin':

"Oscar, dear, if you were here
To pay for your crimes,
I'd make you write a number of times,

'Nothin' causes coma
Like the song in Oklahoma!
'Bout the "Mornin'."'"

[Return to bar 17 for:]

What's the use of fightin'?
Oscar ain't excitin', writin'
'Bout the mornin'.

When he starts to rusticate,
I yawn, until I busticate
From yawnin'.

Hammerstein, you filthy swine,
Enough of your chin!
Wise up, because the verdict is in:

Nothin' causes coma
Like the song in Oklahoma!
'Bout the "Mornin'."