When Love is Nigh

Tune: Arthur Sullivan's "O! Foolish Fay," from "Iolanthe"

When love is nigh
And fairies flip,
When hearts beat high
And pulses skip,
Then I apply
The Vulcan Grip.
They have to learn,
My fairy flock,
That when they yearn
For Bill or Jock,
It's time to turn
To Mister Spock.

(O! Mister Spock!
True type of Dickens' Dombey!
Say, could thy thumb
Make me become
An unresponsive zombie?)