In Business, There's One Unvarying Thread

Tune: Cole Porter's "I Get a Kick Out of You"

In Business, there's one unvarying thread:
For practic'ly ev'ryone, it's a battle for bread.
Now, no one does anything simply for free;
If you want me to help ya, bro,
With a deal that'll make ya dough,
Here's the one thing I need to know—
What's in it for me?

Maybe I ought to explain:
Greasing the wheel—that's The Art of the Deal;
And, trust me, this deal will go through,
If I get a kickback from you.

Maybe you thought making rain
Took only skill and the instinct to kill,
But you're wrong, 'cause it still remains true—
I must get a kickback from you.

I get a kickback for bribing knaves
With babes like Babs and Lola;
I get a kickback for hosting raves
With coke that ain't Coca-Cola™.

Maybe I've brought people gain;
Maybe, they say, the best way to make hay
Is to lay out a peso or two—
So where is my kickback from you?