When You Get Gum on Your Shoe

Tune: Arthur Schwartz's "A Shine on Your Shoes"

When you get gum on your shoe,
It's a harbinger of your day,
And you get the uneasy feeling
That nothing 'll go your way;

So you arrive at your job
In a bit of a browned-off mood,
Take a look at your bulging inbox—
And suddenly know you're screwed.

There are bills (two or three);
And your bank accounts don't agree;
Folks at the IRS want to see
You.

So if there's gum on your shoe,
It's the pleasantest thing you'll get;
It's the least of the things you'll sweat
Today.