Hooray for Hollywood!

Tune: Richard A. Whiting's "Hooray for Hollywood"

Hooray for Hollywood!
That wacky,
Ticky-tacky
Hollywood!

Where men who eat cocaine and snort granola
Dispense payola
To D. J.'s right on the air,

'Cause movie jingles,
Released as singles,
Make a movie-maker a millionaire.

Hooray for Hollywood!
And Grauman's, where so many stars have stood

(Although they sank no deeper than the ankles,
A thought that rankles,
'Cause, frankly, some of them should).

The tinsel tends to fray
A bit, but what the hey?
Hooray for Hollywood!

Hooray for Hollywood!
That kitschy,
Ultra-bitchy
Hollywood!

Phantasmagorias of contrapuntal
Displays of frontal
And dorsal nudity shine;

"I love you dearly"
Has sunk to merely
"If you show me yours, babe, I'll show you mine."

Hooray for Hollywood!
Bo Derek does what Crawford never could;

Her parts can get her parts in artsy pictures
Exempt from strictures,
While studs are paid by the pud.

Although I'm fond of sex,
I hope they break their necks!
Hooray for Hollywood!