Dance and Disco

Tune: Bronisław Kaper's and Walter Jurmann's "San Francisco"

Dance and disco:
Both are too strenuous;
Their charms are tenuous,
Given my mass.

Dance and disco
No one can justify;
Pardon my dust, if I

People say it helps to melt the fat away.
I'd prefer a weekend in Piscataway.

Dance and disco?!
Hop it, Terpsichore!
I'll take a hickory
Stick to your ass!