Form a Conga Line

Tune: Billy Joel's "For the Longest Time"

Oh, oh, oh, oh—
Form a conga line.
Oh, oh, oh—
Form a conga—

British pomp is something of a bore:
Slow march; drum beats; pageantry galore.
With Princess Di dead,
The Queen has now decided,
"We are resolved to form a conga line."

Star Wars flicks mean standing in a queue;
Hours and hours of nothin' much to do.
If all the waiting
Oftentimes is enervating,
Then why not simply form a conga line?

Oh, oh, oh, oh—etc.

Things looked black in 1864;
U.S. Grant was pondering the war.
"This thing's a bummer!
So if it takes all summer,
I'll fight it out along this conga line."

Any time your outlook is bleak,
Go into your dance—
But not cheek-to-cheek.
Rhythmic bumps are not merely chic;
They tone your physique
Like a week spent in Tonga.

Leap years bring a slate of candidates:
TV spots and tedious debates.
I think campaigning
Might be almost entertaining,
If nominees would form a conga line.

When you face a drab status quo,
Without any high,
Without any low,
You may find the better way to go
Is slither to and fro,
Like a faux tic-polonga.

Someday, all will perish in the dust:
Pride, wrath, sloth, greed, gluttony and lust.
But never fear, eh?
We'll meet on Dies Irae:
That'll be the day we form a conga line.

Oh, oh, oh, oh—
Form a conga line.
Oh, oh, oh—
Form a conga—
Chika, chika, step—boom!
Chika, chika, step—boom! etc.