All-News—But With Plenty o' Shmooze

Tune: Arthur Schwartz's "That's Entertainment!"

But with plenty o' schmooze.
Every fact—
But the ones we redact.
As for Truth?
Dumb it down for Duluth!
That's Infotainment!

Spend time
Re-enacting a crime;
If the spin
Is transparently thin,
That's Infotainment!

We fight
For the Right,
While the other guy sleeps;
Our game
Isn't tame,
'Cause we're playin' for keeps—
I mean those Quarterly Sweeps,
Which we're now in the midst of.
(The Pulitzer Prize is kid's stuff.)

We air
Every sordid affair;
We discourse
On the latest divorce;
We explain (!)
Someone's castle in Spain.
("That pile's just for show.")
Our show's just a pile of