There was Hendrix, and Joplin, and Then Harry Nilsson

Tune: Johnny Marks's "Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer"

There was Hendrix, and Joplin, and then Harry Nilsson;
Jerry Garcia, and poor Brian Wilson:
Only one survived,
Though his fame was rather shortlived—

Ricky, the snot-nosed rock star (rock star),
Hadn't any septum left (what a freakazoid).
Doctors who saw his palate (palate)
Told him that the thing was cleft (uh . . . Montgomery?).

Younger and hipper rockers (rockers)
Thought of Rick as just a joke (cut the comedy),
Strung out like someone's laundry (laundry)
Hangin' on a line of coke (not the soda pop).

At Live 8, the cops arrived,
Seizing all the snow (what a tragedy).
Rick's, alone, escaped the bulls—
Taped behind his testicles.

Now all the cokeheads praise him (praise him),
Sucking up with all their might (like Electrolux);
Thanks to the snot-nosed rock star (rock star)
They're as high as Franklin's kite (in the stratosphere).