I Don't Do Windows

Tune: Jerry Herman's "I Won't Send Roses"

I don't do windows
Or scrub the floor;
No heavy lifting—
My back is sore;

I have my soaps from 10:00 to 2:00,
And at 3:30, I am through.
My morning teatime
Is strictly "me" time.

I use a dust-mop,
But never crouch;
So don't go looking
Beneath your couch!

In fact, my opening remark
Was not quite true:
I don't do windows—
Because I don't do poo.